Stupidest Timeline Unisex Tee

Some timelines have flying cars, functioning democracies, and universal healthcare. Ours has influencers selling snake oil, AI writing breakup texts, and billionaires cosplaying as Bond villains. This tee captures that very specific exhaustion—the kind that comes from watching reality trip over itself every single day.

A featured piece in our Collapse Couture collection, this shirt speaks for the quietly unhinged masses who’ve realized we’re not just off course—we’re in the absurdist reboot no one asked for. It’s not satire. It’s Tuesday.

Crafted from 100% combed and ring-spun cotton, this tee is as soft as our generation’s collective coping mechanisms. The 4.2 oz./yd² fabric is breathable but not flimsy, pre-shrunk to survive laundry-day panic, and built with side seams and shoulder-to-shoulder taping—because structure still matters, even if nothing else does.

Printed only when ordered. Ethically made. And exactly the kind of thing your future self will nod at in old photos like, “Yeah… that tracks.”

Because if we really do live in the stupidest timeline, we might as well be self-aware about it.

Size guide